grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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