Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
