you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
