why didn't you poke me back
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
