My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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