I'm jealous of your bromance
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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