4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
