peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
