i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wish I only lived at night.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
