if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize