is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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