Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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