Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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