Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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