Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
