i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
