people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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