And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
