I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
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