Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
