She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's rum buckets o'clock
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
