Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
