Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize