Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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