.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I think your dad took our porno
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
