Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
