know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
