Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
