Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
