i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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