Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
