So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
