Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
