Don't you send me to vm
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
