Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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