Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
