So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
