Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
