I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
