i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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