Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize