the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
