McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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