Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
