if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
it was like eating out sand paper
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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