Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
