Don't you send me to vm
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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