He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
