hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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