If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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