i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My penis needs a shock collar
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Randomize
