Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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