Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
