Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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