She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
