I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Randomize