"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
