how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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