so explain again why im purple
no
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Can I color on your dick again?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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