just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
