I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
