she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
