those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
