so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
