there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Pants are for mortals
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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