one two three fourrrrnication!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize