Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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