He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
