We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
