If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
