this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
