does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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