Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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