He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
