Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
