make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
