I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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