Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
