I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
