All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Is it penis luge time yet?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
