watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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