he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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